a picture post. because words are inadequate to describe all these feelings.
i am procrastinating. again.
sigh. love the work and the kids and everything really. but i absolutely hate bringing work home. just that there wasn't enough time the past two days to get this done and i need it done by next wednesday. RAHH. am annoyed.
anyway the past week has been an extremely eventful one, even more so than the usual weeks. what with the term outing, the slight change in timetables which leaves me terribly drained on tuesdays, the getting closer to the kids especially the wonderful SJ who though not exactly cute or brilliant makes me want to understand him more. maybe since i do spend a large portion of my time with him one on one. makes me find him more and more endearing. haha.
and annoying pubescent boys! how can i ever forget. urgh. MUST MAINTAIN SAFETY DISTANCE AT ALL TIMES. sigh. they are such sweet boys but really puberty can make them so annoying. quite a few people seem amused at my plight. bleahh.
spending time with them just makes my maternal instincts stronger. just looking at them would awake something tender inside me, this wish that they will survive, will live successfully, will grow up and have their own space in society, socially accepted. and i worry, because so and so has a strong chance of getting into trouble next time, because so and so has such and such problems making assimilation difficult, because. and i find that what i feel for them is deeply rooted already. looks like the six inch connection has already fallen into place without my actively seeking it out.
and i wonder if anyone feels the same way i do. if anyone outside of this wonderful warm nest can ever look at these beautiful children and see them for who they really are, without the social stigma and distance we so carefully build up to protect our 'normalcy'. because just what is normalcy?