am very pleased(:

despite the fact that i'm not supposed to be online but that's beside the point. BLOGGER'S UP AND RUNNING PROPERLY!(x

okay i just had to post sth to celebrate. haha.

really really want carolling season to start. like maybe in two hours. sounds fantastic.

guess i just miss performing. can't believe that my career as a performer is probably over already. i'm not even eighteen yet! it was so depressing i had to sing sth last night so my block was treated to 'music of the night' to accompany the smoke from hungry ghost festival offerings. not very good for my lungs i know but nvm.

the stage is a magical place to be on. the overwhelmingly bright lights in stark contrast with the comforting darkness of the concert hall, the beautiful vaulted wood and the sparkling feeling that permeates due to the making of music. singing with the choir was just beautiful and i wonder..

singing with an orchestra sounds amazing too. love orchestral music. all those layers! beautiful, beautiful sound.

but the best thing about being a performer for me is the ability to lose myself, to shed all the cares and joys of my personal life and to inhabit a separate core that is not of myself, within and without. that is pure beauty, knowing that you are contributing to music, to some ancient construct that spans countless lifetimes, becoming one with it for that brief two hours or so. and to know that you are nothing, only an instrument with which to proclaim God's glory in your making of music for i believe that all great music is a pouring in off the Spirit into musicians to glorify Him. that, however, is my own personal viewpoint. yet, i know that it is true for i have experienced it, that filling up of something that is not of me, that outpouring of voice that is not something i am capable of. still, it happened and i am convinced that it is real, praise Him!

anyway all the little options niggling at the back of my head will have to wait as we face the huge monster approaching in 51 (gasp!) days. till then!