anyone wants to form a study group with me?

much as i don't want them to.

but then again i'll rather let sov be my last performance then some crappy i don't know what in july. ova wasn't any better.

it's kind of sad when you realise that you don't really mind not performing for one last time. but i guess it's cos the one last time thing has been repeated one time too many. after sov, i would have given anything to perform one last time with vjchoir esp since competing in austria isn't exactly a performance. the adrenaline rush is of a totally different kind. then came the heartbreaking news that austria was never going to be a reality. and the nightmare intensified. i was never going to sing on the stage with vjchoir as part of the choir anymore. it really was horrible and premature ends never really go down well with me. especially for sth that i love so dearly. then came the ova thing. which is seriously crap cos it's magic songs and it's not even our concert and we had to share the stage. of course singing with the vs boys was fun but it still wasn't a vj thing. nvm. then came the news of the july concerts. which i am so not looking forward to cos they're messing up my curriculum and exam time without batting a lid and the whole thing just reeks of politics. and of course there's the bit about having the one last time thing yet again. it's just like the boy who cried wolf. makes you wonder where the school's priorities are as when you were in choir they were trying their utmost best to get you out of it and complicating your efforts to do well but when it's time for you to graduate, they just simply refuse to. politics, politics. sigh. kind of sucks having such a principal. makes me really really miss mrs chan though of course i would have no idea how she would be like cos my life in ip1 was nice and innocent and happy and i never concerned myself with matters like this. 

anyway, the bottom line is that sure, i'll miss choir and all but just dragging things on and on especially when it's not a full batch thing just makes me really jaded about the whole ideal of choir. and it really sucks cos now i can't write my oh-my-i-really-love-choir-and-will-miss-it-loads-and-loads-and-jiayou-juniors post cos i'm just so tired of it all. stupid school admin. see what you've done to perfectly good passion. 

on a side note, adhoc handovers' over!(: it's really sad and all cos i'm no longer part of the official craziest-people-in-choir group. but our batch has done the best we could and i'm really happy and proud of us. we initiated so many things!(x (though not everything came to fruition but nvm. lots of things did happen anyway) and we're such different ppl yet i really love all of you. now's the juniors' turn and i hope that they turn out like us or better(: be it in terms of achievements or friendships. cos adhoc really is a great breeding ground for friendships as we brainstorm and come up with crazy ideas, do the saikang and logistics bit and just be ourselves through and through. so junior adhoc (i don't think any of yall come to my blog but nvm) just be yourselves and enjoy your term! it'll be over real fast so treasure every moment of it. and adhoc 08/09, i love all of you!(: the artsy fart, the responsible, the 'slacker', the voice, thanks for everything and i'm sorry for the damage i've caused your eardrums. hahaha. <3

well, maybe things aren't too bad after all(:

or maybe it's just me being selfish again. it really is time to stop thinking of myself as the centre of the universe. time to put others first! 

it really isn't their fault cos everyone has their own lives to live. it's just that yours is like this that's all. so get on with life and stop moping around cos no one will stop for you. stop swirling out of control.