anyway it's a new year and i've done nothing to improve my life as usual. though i do think it'll be a good start to re-examine myself and actually start caring about my studies and all so that i can convince everyone that i can go to austria and still not screw up my a levels. and of course, there's the big question of what am i going to do with myself after that.

things aren't always as simple as they seem and nothing seems to allure me anymore. all my past dreams seem rather shallow and superficial now but then again, isn't everything that way? it's just how we perceive things that gives them their value. and if i'm going to continue being so jaded i guess it'll be kind of impossible for me to realise what i really do value and to pursue the dreams that i have not yet found. it's funny how last year seemed to be so full of promise but it only left me feeling drained and wondering if everything is worth it. maybe this year will be better. or not. whatever it is, the clock will keep on turning, so there.