i need to run away. now. 

it hurts so bad that i can hardly breathe but things just won't stop happening. it's times like this that i envy the birds in the sky or whatever.

i wish i could adopt pig so that no matter what happens she'll be with me and comfort me and lie across my stomach or legs. i wouldn't mind putting you in a bottle too so that when i close my door on the world, you'll still be there with me. 

i understand that i'm not who you want me to be. but i can't be perfect. and i definitely don't expect you to be perfect either. so why can't you do the same to me? why can't you just accept the fact that we can never truly understand each other nor love each other and just move on? life would be so much easier that way. i wouldn't mind staying at home just as long as you leave me alone and stop tearing at the chrysalis that i have so carefully built up around me. but no, life would be totally uninteresting without the taunting and goading, wouldn't it? 

during the exam period, beading seemed like the best thing that could ever happen to me. now that i have the time to reopen my shop, i have no more drive to. gross. at least i did the pearls on time(: and i just mended the spoilt ones. which is good i guess. so maybe i should start packing and studying. and getting presents and cards. oh no. i need more time. totally need like 36 hours or 48 hours in a day. 24 is so not enough><

oh no. i'm whining. yuck.

Your will cannot lead me where Your grace will not keep me(: