rhoda. 23. nus. dgms. choir. sing(:


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Template by Elle and this is her blog.
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this slight melancholy.

it's been awhile but the rain, the sweets, the talk. fragments of feelings are coming back, or are they just resurfacing after being varnished over for so long?

the world is a beautiful place.
there is no doubt about that.
the splendour of a hibiscus plant with each pale pink petal
a delicate tissue of veins;
those veins that snake up this uncharted yet familiar territory.
and your scent that lingers in the air for days to come.

or was that just another fancy of mine?

i long to be able to express myself in words again. words that dripped out of my veins, dark and potent, if only in my mind. where verse and prose mingled and the boundaries of genres dissolved: when i was still a mystery to myself, when periods were never meant for the ends of sentences and commas were merely decorative.

now that things are laid bare
(on whitewashed herringbone floors)
i wonder if progress has even be made
or if all this time i was fighting against the wrong current

green light. show yourself,
remind me of the green beast that grows and nurtures all dreams,
who once held me close to her breast
and whispered visions in my ear

rejection sensitivity is the tendency to think that significant others are on the verge of socially rejecting oneself (Downey & Feldman, 1996). therefore, anxiously expect, readily perceive, and intensely react to possible social rejections. draws from attachment theory (anxious-ambivalent types), it is a form of interpersonal cognition on how early childhood experiences of rejection and neglect can lead people to anxiously expect that people will inevitably reject them in the future

people high in rejection sensitivity are hyper-vigilant for possible rejection cues even when the behaviour exhibited by significant others are ambiguous or innocuous. high rejection sensitivity persons also show a tendency to respond to rejection with greater negativity - get into fights with their partners if they felt highly rejected the day before and to engage in hostile behaviour towards their partners in conflict discussions (self-fulfilling prophecy)

the theory on rejection sensitivity relies heavily on ideas from the social-cognitive approach: concept of chronic accessibility - anxious expectations of social rejections are salient; CAPS theory - if not cues of possible rejection, then caring and friendly. if cues of possible rejection are present, then hurtful and hostile; apparent disparate patterns of behaviour is not a result of a fragmented personality, but is actually coherent under a single underlying system