rhoda. 23. nus. dgms. choir. sing(:


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wheeeeee..... japan here i come!! ohkay. not just yet. but soon. lalalala. cant wait!!


____________________





clutching the edge
leaning forward
downward spiral
eyes shut
a tear
sharp burst of taste
blurred vision
sinking into blessed oblivion

n can the idiot who borrowed my phantom of the opera soundtrack like eons ago return it to me like now? grr.

you were once my one companion
you were all that mattered
you were once my friend and father
then my world was shattered


wishing you were somehow here again
wishing you were somehow near
sometimes it seemed if i just dreamed
somehow you would be here
wishing i could hear your voice again
knowing that i never would
dreaming of you won't help me to do
all that you dreamed i could


passing bells and sculpted angels
cold and monumental
seem for you the wrong companion
you were warm and gentle


too many years fighting back tears
why can't the past just die?


wishing you were somehow here again
knowing we must say goodbye
try to forgive, teach me to live
give me the strength to try


no more memories, no more silent tears
no more gazing across the wasted years
help me say goodbye
help me say goodbye


as if we never said goodbye


don't know why I'm frightened
I know my way around here
The cardboard trees, the painted seas, the sound here...
Yes, a world to rediscover
But I 'm not in any hurry
And I need a moment


The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways
The atmosphere as thrilling here as always
Feel the early morning madness
Feel the magic in the making
Why, everything's as if we never said goodbye


I've spent so many mornings just trying to resist you
I'm trembling now, you can't know how I've missed you
Missed the fairy tale adventure
In this ever spinning playground
We were young together


I'm coming out of make-up
The lights already burning
Not long until the cameras will start turning...
And the early morning madness
And the magic in the making
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye


I don't want to be alone
That's all in the past
This world's waited long enough
I've come home at last!


And this time will be bigger
And brighter than we knew it
So watch me fly, we all know I can do it...
Could I stop my hand from shaking?
Has there ever been a moment
With so much to live for?


The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways
So much to say not just today but always...
We'll have early morning madness
We'll have magic in the making
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye...
We taught the world new ways to dream!

n i really want to do a split. ive lost the ability. or agility. or whatever. gahh.

close your eyes. let the song take flight. when all i want is to move the stars to tears.
inadequacies of language. of feeling. of knowledge. my cracked kettle.

既然已经作了决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定


im confused. swirling thoughts. whirlpool. n nothing can represent it. oh just shuddup.


n i miss my jinghuan.


says:
haii
says:
are there like cliques
tO bEhoLd TheE... dont talk to me says:
no
tO bEhoLd TheE... dont talk to me says:
there are seuqilc


im not thinking straight. n rhoda bites.

my room is like an obstacle course. to get from one end to the other uve got to go through 4569423456 obstacles, each one requiring u to do some back bending n totally weird gymnastics or whatever. no wonder im so fit. (yarh right. my nose just grew longer.)

today shall be a day of many random posts. i shall capture all my random thoughts today. whee. so fun.


its raining. it feels like the whole world's crying for me. how nice. and sweet. that the sky knows me better than me. ohwells. smile.x)

i shld make a short film called the corridor. haha. ive already gotten the script done. lalala. im just too bored. its not nice being sick. ohwells. at least there was an inspiration this time. heex. but knowing myself, this film will never get done.
this film, contains all my hopes and dreams. and how all of them are dashed, one by one.

how such a simple statement can invoke such feelings. that feeling of lost dreams.

behind these hazel eyes


seems like just yesterday
you were a part of me
i used to stand so tall
i used to be so strong
your arms around me tight
everything, it felt so right
unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
now i can't breathe
no, i cant sleep
i'm barely hanging on


here i am, once again
all torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you won't get to see the tears i cry
behind these hazel eyes


i told you everything
opened up and let you in
you made me feel alright
for once in my life
now all that's left of me
is what i pretend to be
so together, but so broken up inside
cause i can't breathe
no, i can't sleep
i'm barely hanging on


here i am, once again
all torn into pieces
can't deny it , can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you won't get to see the tears i cry
behind these hazel eyes


swallow me then spit me out
for hating you, i blame myself
seeing you it kills me now
no, i don't cry on the outside anymore


here i am, once again
all torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you won't get to see the tears i cry
behind these hazel eyes


here i am, once again
all torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you won't get to see the tears i cry
behind these hazel eyes

because of you


i will not make the same mistakes that you did
i will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
i will not break the way you did you fell so hard
i've learnt the hard way, to never let it get so far


because of you, i never strayed too far from the sidewalk
because of you, i learned to play on the safe side so i don't get hurt
because of you, i find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
because of you, i am afraid


i lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out
i cannot cry, because i know that's weakness in your eyes
i'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life
my heart can't possibly break, when it wasn't even whole to start with


because of you, i never strayed too far from the sidewalk
because of you, i learned to play on the safe side so i don't get hurt
because of you, i find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
because of you, i am afraid


i watched you die, i heard you cry every night in your sleep
i was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me
you never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain
and now i cry in the middle of the night, for the same damn thing


because of you, i never strayed too far from the sidewalk
because of you, i learned to play on the safe side so i don't get hurt
because of you, i tried my hardest just to forget everything
because of you, i don't know how to let anyone else in
because of you, i'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
because of you, i am afraid


because of you
because of you

the point of no return


you have come here
in pursuit of your deepest urge,
in pursuit of that wish,
which till now has been silent,
silent
i have brought you,
that our passions may fuse and merge,
in your mind you've already
succumbed to me
dropped all defences
completely succumbed to me,
now you are here with me,
no second thoughts,
you've decided,
decided
past the point of no return,
no backward glances.
the games we've played till now
are at an end.
past all thought of "if" or "when",
no use resisting.
abandon thought
and let the dream descend.
what raging fire shall flood the soul?
what rich desire unlocks its door?
what sweet seduction lies before us?
past the point of no return,
the final threshold.
what warm, unspoken secrets will we learn?
beyond the point of no return


you have brought me
to the moment where words run dry,
to that moment where speech disappears
into silence,
silence.
i have come here,
hardly knowing the reason why.
in my mind i've already imagined
our bodies entwining,
defenceless and silent,
and now i'm here with you.
no second thoughts,
i've decided,
decided.
past the point of no return,
no going back now.
our passion play, has now, at last, begun.
past all thought of right or wrong.
one final question,
how long should we two wait before we're one?
when will the blood begin to race?
the sleeping bud burst into bloom?
when will the flames, at last, consume us?


past the point of no return,
the final threshold.
the bridge is crossed,
so stand and watch it burn.
we've passed the point of no return.

i scared myself today. and many others in fact. im so sorry.normally when i faint, i can wake up n bounce back n b happy n energetic in a short time. but today was so totally grossed out. i cldnt open my eyes properly, i cldnt talk, i cldnt even support my own head. the lights were too bright even when the room was dim. i felt so cold even with the blanket on. it was totally crazy and i scary. im so sorry to all those who were so worried for me and thank you just so much. x)

-grey moth's dream-


grey moth
peering through the
grime
frantically searching
for a minute,
no, non-existent crack,
a fiction of imagination.
wishing that the glass panel
would slide open
and it can plunge into the light,
beautiful, glorious light.
and be consumed.


____________________





my string of crystal beads
beautiful and sparkling
capturing life's essence
come unstrung
all at once
rolling to the corners of the earth
away from me
my sustenance
my colours fade
while they
life's treasures
glow on

wrinkle, go away. shoo. i dont want any premature graying thus i shall not think abt anything awful.


just keep smiling. the sky's still blue.x)

i m seriously astounded.

i miss singing. as i was walking to the classroom to get cushions, i stopped and listened. "rock round the clock.." i saw familiar faces singing. their faces animated as they dropped their jaws, raised their eyebrows, pronounced each syllable with the utmost care, their diaphragms taut with support, their legs firmly grounded, their abdomens fully expanded to support their diaphragms. i saw their brows furrowed with concentration, yet they were enjoying every single note of the song. their voices soaring above the keyboard, above the trees and rooftops. "rock round the clock.."


i turned, tears threatening to spill over, and ran the last distance with hands over my ears. eyes squeezed shut, i left a trail of tears and broken dreams.

sprout a pair of wings


and fly














never look back


____________________





lines can be drawn and broken
all you need is an eraser

of chocolate hearts and sugar roses


my posts dont make sense anymore


i just realised


n i still cant type properly


at least i managed my french manicure


tho it still is horrible


i really shld remove it


but i cant bear to


all my hard work


not to mention the waste of time n polish

if the world truly is small, then why do i keep getting lost?

that feeling
that spells dread
that causes me to double up
squeeze my eyes shut
roll into a ball
grab the nearest table
vertigo


n i just hate 36

fluffy marshmellows and caramel clouds.


cant i not grow up?

the room before
is dark.
an uncertain step,
darkness surrounds,
engulfing
completely.
reach out,
there is
nothing.
frantic turn back.
there is
nothing.
swirling vertigo.
utter confusion,
fears rise.
yet
understanding dawns,
slowly, gradually.
hand brought up,
brought down
in a full circle.
a dance ensues.
flitting hands
and tapping feet.
silent, mutual friendship.
the darkness and dancer
is one.